Choot

Is your husband controlling you in everything you do? On your first few weeks of marriage, you would most likely think that your husband’s jealousy problems are natural and you keep pursuing your relationship thinking that both of you will learn to love and accept your current situation. However, as time passes by you will realize that your fairy tale will turn into nightmare.

When you are being controlled by your partner, your self-esteem is lowered and relationship problems are being highlighted.Your first reaction is that you react on his insults and assaults.However, your partner turns into a monster and the relationship problems gets worse.

In most cases, you become afraid to tell your friends and family about your situation. Pushing away the important people in your life is the least thing you should do…always keep them by your side. The people closest to you should never be pushed away. Now you will be living a miserable life with a person who has become different.

It is typical to have this kind of situation in a married couple.  You and your partner have personality differences and there would always be adjustments. It is a crazy idea to trap women in the house and limit them to child-bearing and household chores. It is a sad thing to see women suffer just to please their husband. What happens is when they found out that there is nothing they could do to please their man, problems arise and it could go worse in time.

The most logical thing to do is to be assertive, this way you will feel more free and happy.Your partner can take advantage of your affection for him. If you allow your husband to become more powerful than you then this could be a problem.It is going to be a big problem if you allow your partner to have power over you.Your problems would not end unless you come out brave and say what you want.  The longer you wait for your husband to change for the better, the longer you will be at risk to emotional abuse.

If you are assertive, it is a way of behaving that allows you to stand up for your rights. There are people who can be non assertive. A person who is assertive attitude recognizes that he has a right to express his opinions, preferences, feelings and emotions. They know how lto face thier problems and focuses on solving it.

You must learn how to improve your assertive listening skills. You must know how to listen to your parner’s point-of-view, understand accurately what your partner is saying. You must also make sure that you let them know that you have understood. Understanding what your partner says does not mean you totally agree. Understanding means that you understood what is being said.It becomes easier if you tell your partner what you want to hear and accept.

Assertiveness comes out if you try to separate your emotions to the reality. You should not tolerate your partner’s tendency to take advantage of your love for him. You have to be brave to fight for your rights and be your own boss. If you are loved by your partner truthfully and dearly, he will always accept who you are.

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts

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